I don't know what else to do. I have tried to communicate, with no luck. I call and get a text message 2 weeks later. I am at a loss. I am not going to try anymore. Why stress myself out to just get hurt again. The only time I get a call is to get screamed at. 1 of 2 things is going to happen. You are going to need me because you got hurt again, or I will pass away and you will be riddled with guilt. I always told myself my mom would never die, and at 42 she was gone. Everyone who loses a loved one has guilt, and when you treat them like crap, the guilt is really bad.
I am also tired of walking on egg shells. Everyone needs to shut up, the world doesn't revolve around you. There are more important things in peoples lives that, to them, are very important. When I try to plan something and it gets all messed up, I could care less. If people don't show, more for me. My brothers didn't come to my wedding, I still had a wonderful time, I still married the best man ever. I just don't care. I don't want to hurt anyones feelings, but come on people. Life is to short to be upset all the time. This is not a dress rehearsal. You don't get another try. Calm down.
My life was hell, 8 or 9 fosterhomes, where they beat you everyday. I ran away 10 times to get away from abuse, slept with pigs, rats and cows. When I went to live with my mom, I was black and blue from my waist to the back of my knees, 2 of my moms friends sexually molested me. My mom was an alcholic, and was murdered at 42, while I witnessed it. My first husband was a cheater and an abuser. Life always throws you blows. You just pick yourself up and go on. You can't expect others to give you happiness, that is your job, and yours alone.
I think it might be the flu that is getting me emotional, but whatever. Maybe I should of just gone to bed and shut up. I think I am going to become a recluse and just be me and my husband and my kids and grandkids. The drama is to much, this one has been mean for months, this one doesn't do what I think she should do. This one lives this way, do it my way, I am right. I have been through some bad crap and survived, and I think I am a better person for it. Chill out people, tomorrow is a new day. Don't right back with smart remarks, this isn't against one individual, well except the beginning. My life will continue to go on until it doesn't anymore, ( that was profound) so I am over all of it. Ya'll have a blessed day, and freekin smile.
Darla Jean Wood
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